Fat folks are known for being jolly by nature…..and you know what I think?
F*$% that.
I have been in such a bad mood this week. Perhaps it boils down to the fact that I am an emotional eater and since I can’t eat my feelings away….they are coming to the surface with a vengeance. I am sure the fact that my computer at work likes to completely go haywire 2-4 times a day doesn’t help. Or that the IT help desk can’t figure out what the HELL IS WRONG WITH MY MACHINE YOU INCOMPETANT CONTRACTED BASTARDS!!!!!
See what I mean? This is simply one example. I can’t seem to keep my cool calm demeanor lately. In my defense I have a lot going on right now….personally and professionally, yet still I pride myself on my ability to handle life with patience and some sort of grace. Maybe I ate those things when I was inhaling my 100 calorie snack packs Sunday?
This weekend I cheated with a whopper and ice cream….and freaked myself out by stepping on one of those “Fortune Telling” scales outside the ladies restroom which registered me at 6lbs heavier than my B.L. weigh in. Why I dropped that quarter in the slot I don’t know but I did -and felt like absolute shit for the rest of the day, constantly fishing for reassurance from my shopping buddy.
Speaking of my weight loss journey, it’s been a week since I started and so far I’ve lost 3.6lbs….which is quite a feat considering that I haven’t counted my points as diligently as I should, nor have I worked out. I have been exhausted when I come home and in the morning? Man I can barely hear the alarm when it goes off at 5:30 which is alarm 1 aka the “workout alarm” . I need to take this seriously.. I mean at the rate of 3lbs a week I will have dropped 50 by the end of June but I have my heart set on 70 so…I need to step it up….only 67 lbs to go!
I came to a revelation this weekend when gabbing with a friend over breakfast. My social life revolves around food and drink. When I had bad days at work like this I would call my girls and we’d all meet up for happy hour drinks and appetizers. When someone graduates, is promoted, or celebrates a life milestone what do we do? We go out! And usually it involves food and booze. When I vacation I find myself eating all the outrageous high calorie foods the location is known for. Shiiiiiat I’m planning to head home in the next couple months and my mind is filled with visions of tri-tip, ceviche, ice cold beer and delicious chicarones with hot sauce and lime juice.
I realize that it’s not the food and drink….it’s my self control that’s the issue. I’m contemplating whether or not I should look into joining Overeaters Anonymous. I don’t want to burn my friends out with my newfound nutritional fact obsession…but I need to talk about it, I need to deal with it, I need support from other’s who are in the same situation.
Anyway, I think I’ve said my piece. Until next time
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Hi V. I have been (and often still am) right where you are at. Portland is very rainy so it's hard to always do this, but in the summer, I make a concerted effort to choose social events revolved around an activity. I did so much walking, hiking and biking last summer instead of happy hours and dinners outs. Or have a movie night with other dieting pals, potluck style, with only WW or diet friendly fare. I lost 14 lbs right off the bat this year and now I'm only down just about 8 after falling off the wagon. And I DO work out. I just really really really like food (and wine).
ReplyDeleteMay I please suggest a great book... Lessons from the Fatosphere is a must read. While I think getting healthy and having fun is what it's ALL about, I hear some of your phrases and I worry that it's setting yourself up for future challenges (example: words like, cheating, bad, etc.). Beating yourself up about ANYthing will only serve to make you feel bad about yourself. And if you're anything like me, it leads to comfort food at some point.
You go girl!! Keep up the awesome work!!
Keep on going, Ms. V. Cleveland's a hard place not to engage in activity without food / drink being involved but you can do it!
ReplyDelete